5 Wedding RSVP Rules to Live by as Black Southern Bride

By far the most stressful experience as a is the RSVP process. You will learn more about yourself, your friends and your family than you ever thought you could in such a short time frame. Friends can become enemies in the weeks of the RSVP 🙂

Even some of the most prim and proper in your life will commit some RSVP sins. To help save you all from stress, hair loss and extra glasses of wine, we have compiled some RSVP rules to live by.

1) Send them out early! Send out your invites at least 2 months in advance and give yourself at least a month before your wedding for the RSVP deadline. Even Emily Post, as great as she is, cannot understand what it is like to plan a large black wedding. This time ladies, don’t follow the etiquette rules and create some buffer to keep you sane!

2) Lie about the Deadline: In the case of wedding RSVPs, ain’t nothing wrong with lying! Make your deadline two weeks before the day that will drive you crazy. That may be the day your catering bill is due or the you send the headcount but trust me,, you will not want to be finalizing RSVPs when you or your father is about to pay that big bill.

3) Plus 1s don’t have to come: Do NOT feel the need to accept +1s of people you don’t know: Your linesister’s new boo for Spring is not worth $100 a plate…. If they are really your friend they will come alone. You will thank me later for this when mysteriously after you already paid your catering they somehow break up right before the wedding….

4) People Will Drop Off: No matter how important your day may be to you it is not the priority in your friends and families life. Inevitably, someone will have a real emergency such as a job loss or an unexpected illness so if your numbers are a little higher than you want don’t stress too much. For those people who just decide they can’t make it because they splurged on a Kate Spade bag, make a mental note and take them off the Christmas card list indefinitely.

5) Random People Will Show Up: On the opposite spectrum of people dropping off you will certainly have some people show up. Especially if you are a traditional southern belle and go back home for your wedding. That 3rd cousin who heard about your wedding may try to sneak in and it will be ok. Just make sure to point them out to your bridesmaids and have them give sideyes. Just kidding 🙂 but not really.

All in all your wedding will be great. The RSVPs will be a HOT MESS. You can’t avoid it but you can use these ground rules to save your sanity and friendships. Every Black Southern Bride has been there and we have all survived.

Just remember it is your day and your money (or your daddy’s money). So become best friends with the word “NO”, prepare for some tense phone calls and get some wine or more Jesus in your life, because the RSVP process is as fun as getting your eyebrows threaed for 6 weeks straight…


Michiel Perry

Michiel is a Black Southern Belle living a lowcountry life. I love all things fashion, home decor and southern! When I am not running around doing fun stuff for Black Southern Belle, I live in antique stores and have a minor obsession with historic homes 🙂

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