I thought being a mom would make me feel super uncool, seen by my peers as the girl who carried and pushed a small human out of an even smaller hole. I thought I the idea of being a mom didn’t necessarily mean I couldn’t hang with my friends or make them laugh anymore – just that I would have to work extra hard to do both.
It turns out I’m still amazing, still cute, a little heavier, but still a quite sexy. I still have mass appeal, but I’m also a gazillion times more brave, fiercely loyal and protective over the feelings of those whom I love. My son scares me – I love him so much. He’s my little person, yet my biggest blessing and accomplishment. I have never been more proud of anything I’ve done, honestly, with the exception of marrying his father. My son’s face is so round and so brown and so full of light; his little hands are pudgy and soft and warm. He’s my best friend in the entire universe, one of just two people I trust with all my secrets.
I guess you could say I’ve got new mommy magic – super strong arms and even stronger determination. I carry around my 20-lb hunk of love and goodness, both physically and mentally, at all times. My son, Noah Phoenix, has taught me so much in the short 10 months we’ve been hanging out, but the main thing I’ve learned from him is just how resilient and focused I truly am.
When my husband and I first found out we were expecting, we went through the anticipated range of emotions – and ended up on two opposite ends of the spectrum. He cried tears of joy while he drank leftover bubbly from the night before and called all his friends. I was stern-faced and confused with fear. Part of me felt like I was spoiling his fun – we giggle about it now. It was New Year’s Day and I hadn’t even gotten started on my resolutions before I tossed them all to the wind. A big part of me was disappointed. What about my career? Was this the right time to have a baby? I wanted to add at least another $15,000 to my salary that year; I wanted to get a dog, a car, to start businesses and so much more. My 2014 goals shifted completely, all before noon on January 1. Ultimately, my husband thought a baby would be a great idea and, after about an hour of disbelief, once the thought settled in and I realized how privileged my life had been up to that moment, I agreed. What a beautiful, blessed journey we’ve embarked on since that day.
We were married four months later, on May 2 in New York City’s very own Central Park. Three months after that, we made Atlanta our new home. We’re currently living with my mom, stepdad and younger brother, Jared. So far, things have been working out great – but we’ve taken on an even bigger task: finding our own place.
After months of credit cleanup and long nights on Realtor.com, we found new construction on the outskirts of downtown Atlanta. As we wait for the building process on our new home to complete, I could not be more happy to share my journey in mommyhood, matrimony and moving with you. Welcome to the Joy of My Life.0