When you are dating, no one wants to be the girl who got a boyfriend and forgot about all of her girlfriends. You work at balancing BFF time and BF time, sometimes arranging activities in which everyone can participate, while also making sure to carve out plenty of solo time for just you and your beau. It works out even better when some of your friends also have a significant other because you can include couples’ dates into the mix.
But once you get married, many people act as though you are supposed to leave your single friends in the dust and only interact with other married/attached couples. While I do agree that your social priorities will change once you become a wife, I don’t think you should have to cut-off your unattached friends just because they haven’t found The One. Everyone knows a true Southern belle loves to entertain and enjoys inviting everyone, married or single, to get-togethers and holiday parties. And you will still want them to include you in the fun as well! Though you may not be as inclined to shut down the club at 3am, you’ll definitely still want to hit a day party or two with your crew.
Your friends are your friends for a reason. Whether it is a friend you’ve had since childhood, your college roommate, or an old coworker, everyone has a place in your life and the bond you share with the friends you had prior to becoming a Mrs. will be different from the friends you make as a married couple. There’s the friend who is always down for brunch, the one who loves long phone conversations, and the one who you can vent to about anything. They know some of your most embarrassing stories and deepest secrets and you know theirs. The bond isn’t broken just because you are married. You still have those memories and connections and should continue to nurture those relationships.
But it is fun to build new friendships and there are times when you will want to discuss married life and the new adventures and goals with other like-minded couples. If you are like me and my husband, you may already have friends who are on a similar path and are newly married, looking for houses, and thinking of starting families. It’s nice to have those friends to grow with and form a new and different type of bond. But I still love hearing about the dates of my single friends, sharing my advice for the new guy in their life, or heading to a wine or food truck festival with a few of my girls.
Many relationship experts agree that maintaining a social circle outside of your husband (and the same for him) is actually healthy for your marriage and can make you appreciate each other more. All of your outings don’t have to be couple activities with your new married friends, so don’t fret. You can still enjoy a Girls’ Night Out every so often and your hubby can head to happy hour with his bros. But don’t be afraid to invite the couple you met at a friend’s party out to dinner or get better acquainted with the members of your marriage ministry group. Life is all about balance and as long as you and your husband continue to make time for each other and build upon your marriage, both old and new friendships will still have a place in your life.
XOXO
Talia
Comments
I think this is definitely an important post that all women should read! Although I’m not married, as a 21 year old, I do see women beginning to cling to their significant other’s and allowing their social circle to slowly shrink. I agree that it’s healthy to have a life outside of that one special person in your life. Lovely post Talia!
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Author
Thanks Victoria! Glad you enjoyed it!